


A Cut to the Soul

by Namjoonah



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Beating, Blood, Character Death, Comforting Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Drunk Dean, I'm Sorry, Love Confessions, M/M, Possible multi-chapter, Tears, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 11:11:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1467346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Namjoonah/pseuds/Namjoonah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas share a few cuts and bruises that lead to a confession of love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Cut to the Soul

Sammy's hair was too long. He didn't have the glow he always had. He didn't look like Sammy. 

Dean's hands shook as he opened his flask and took a long swig. The whiskey burned its way down his throat. He didn't want to be there. His mind was blurred and his thoughts were fogged over with alcohol and regret. His father's voice echoed in his head, " _Take care of your brother,"_

Dean was supposed to care for him. He was supposed to look after the shaggy-headed sibling. This was his fault.

Silent tears ran down Dean's sleep-deprived features as he forced himself to say his goodbyes and close the lid to the light brown coffin. 

"I'm sorry Sammy,"

A hand was placed on Dean's shoulder and pulled the hunter into reality. Dean turned to see the bright blue eyes of Cas staring at him with concern. The angel was disheveled and wearing jeans and one of Dean's old jackets. There was a few days worth of scruff on the chiseled jawline.

"Go away Cas,"

"Dean...."

"I said leave"

Dean lit a match and illuminated the remaining memories of his baby brother. A hunter's funeral was one of flames and heroism, but Dean felt nothing other than shame.  This was his fault. It was his doing. He shouldn't have let Sam out of his sight. The shifter was too fast and too strong for his exhausted brother. He couldn't get there in time.  Dean could still hear the sickening crack that made his stomach drop and his heart jump into his throat. He ganked the shifter without a second thought and fell to his brother's side. Sammy's head was twisted at an awkward angle and his chest wasn't moving. 

Dean open his flask once again and went to drink the rest of his whiskey when it was knocked from his hands.

"What the hell?"

"I will not let your drink yourself into a stupor because of his death,"

"Shut the hell up, just shut the hell up right now"

Castiel walked straight up to Dean and held him by his arm. He pushed the hunter into a tree and stared into his eyes.

"Dean I fell from heaven to work beside you. I retrieved you and your brother from the depths of hell. I did not do all of this to see you waste away ," Cas said through gritted teeth, "you can't blame yourself for this. You and I both know that this is not what he would want,"

Dean reacted before thinking. He pushed Cas off of him and swung. His fist connected with Cas's jaw and the former angel fell back from the tree. Dean brought another fist up and hit Cas again, this time in the eye. Cas pounced back onto the older Winchester and punched him in the nose. The two went on beating one another until Dean's fists fell away and his vision faded into blackness. Cas's hands fell to his sides. 

{***}

Cas was nursing his most-likely broken knuckle, trying to clean the cut above his eyebrow, and washing the split in his bottom lip when Dean came-to. They were back in the bunker and Dean lay on Cas's bed. His head pounded and his shoulder hurt like a bitch. He had no memory of how he had gotten there, but remembered he and Cas throwing punched and knees like UFC fighters. All at once he thought of his baby brother and threw up in the trash can next to the bed. His stomach wretched in agony of the alcohol and painful memories. 

Cas brought the hunter a towel and helped him up. The hunter's face was in bad shape. His nose was finally done bleeding, a large cut remained on his shoulder, and his prominent cheekbone was cut. Cas had beaten him into a blackout.

Dean looked at Cas with tears welling up in his emerald eyes.

"What the hell is wrong with me...."

"De-"

"It's my fault, Cas,"

Cas came to sit next to Dean. The bed creaked as he settled next to the broken man, their thighs pressed together. The former angel looked into Dean's eyes and put his slim hand on the hunter's thigh. 

"I would change it in a moment if I still had my connections to heaven. However, I don't. We can't change what happened. It wasn't your fault. None of this is your fault, Dean. You have to know that,"

The hunter's shoulder's shook with the silent sobs that wracked his body. His tears fell one after another, making small dots on his jeans. Cas wrapped his arms around the man and held Dean's face to his chest. They fell back onto the bed and lied there until Dean's sobs turned into shuttering breaths. Cas never let go, never changed position. He simply let himself cry a few silent tears both for his fallen friend, and his broken beloved. The former angel tilted Dean's head up and gently pressed his lips to the other man's. He ignored the sting of his split lip and kissed Dean as if it was the last thing he could do.

The kisses slowly dissolved. Cas peppered Dean's lips and cheeks with as many kisses as he had freckles. He kissed the cuts and newly forming bruises he had caused. He kissed his was around each inch of Dean while whispering in his graveled voice, "I love you,"

Over and over he kissed the hunter and professed his love. Dean's tears tumbled over Cas's features.

"Cas, stop,"

"You deserve so much more than this life, Dean"

"No... I deserve to be dead. Sammy deserves this."

Cas got on top of the hunter and cupped each side of his face in his hands. 

"I love you. And I need you here. Sam would want you to live your life. So please... Live it with me," the blue eyes pleaded.

"I just beat the shit out of you Cas,"

"And I hit you as well,"

"Cas-"

"No. Don't argue with me."

"I was gonna tell you I love you to..."

Cas helped Dean out of his bloodied shirt, and slipped his own tear-stained borrowed tee over his mussed hair. The two slipped under the blankets and tangled themselves within one another. Cas held his broken hunter against his chest, and slowly stroked the man's tanned back. Dean's tears stopped falling and his eyes closed in exhaustion. Cas knew there was nothing he could do for the guilt that was buried deeply in Dean's heart. However, he could simply stay. He wouldn't leave his side until he was ripped away. 

Cas was the last person Dean had. Dean opened his eyes long enough to kiss Cas once more, savoring the taste of shared blood on their lips. It was the only way he could show his love and gratitude for Cas.

"Please... Don't leave,"

"Never,"

**Author's Note:**

> Massive thank you! Possible multi-chapter. Leave comments and feedback if you would like more!


End file.
